8.29.2009

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"

I was fired yesterday.

 Never having been fired before, it was indeed shocking to hear those dreaded words: "we can just go ahead and assume this isn't going to work out". I felt as if I was being broken up with by a long term boyfriend!

They didn't have a reason as to why they were letting me go, nor did they care to try and come up with one. They simply informed me that I wouldn't even be allowed to finish out my last 3 shifts of the week. 

They couldn't have chosen a worse time. Having been previously unemployed for 3 weeks at the beginning of July, I had a month of working and was fired 4 weeks later; I have no savings and have barely been able to make September's rent. Basically I am living in the most expensive city in America with $30 to my name. Literally $30.

Amidst the feelings of embarrassement and shock there is also an excitement. People think I am ridiculous for finding poverty exciting. I've never been rich or close to it, however I've never known what it felt like to live below the poverty line until I moved to NYC. While reading the play "A Streetcar Named Desire" (written by my favorite playwright Tennessee Williams) I came across a quote that completely summarizes my feelings for this matter. 

"The sort of life which I had had previous to this popular success was one that required endurance, a life of clawing and scratching along a sheer surface and holding on tight with raw fingers to every inch of rock higher than the one caught hold of before, but it was a good life becasue it was the sort of life for which the human organism is created."

Creativity, art, and greatness comes from trials like this, if you let it. They say that art is the study of life; and if that's true, then my art is going to be great. I will prove Darwin's theory of 'survival of the fittest' by not only surviving but flourishing through this trial.

God is good. He will bless you if you let him. He will not only bless you with good times but also with trials. My cousin Garrett pointed out a beautiful scripture- 1 Peter 1:7

"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ."

The next few months are going to be hard but fruitfull, I can tell. September will be spent scrounging for a job and being able to pay all of my bills on time. October will still be uncertain while trying to build some kind of a savings cushion back up; and November begins Holiday shopping for loved ones that will wipe out my savings all over again :)

Ah... c'est la vie! 

2 comments :

  1. Awww Courtney so sorry to hear that! They let a good one get away. You are resourceful and I admire your positive outlook. Love you!

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  2. Courtney my dearest, ahhh, NYC is a tough city. But as you know all will work out as it needs to as we put trust in our creator! "you receive no witness until after the trial of your faith". But that sometimes isn't what we want to hear while we are going through it! thanks for linking my blog to yours, I will do the same if that's ok!

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