4.26.2010

Words of Wisdom

Today i was reading out of a church magazine called The Ensign, and came across an article that struck me to the core! It's called "Becoming a Quality Person NOW" written by Elder Marvin J. Ashton.

In it he talks about how "A quality life is God's greatest wish for us. Life is to be lived well in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. There should not be a waiting period...."

He also said "The personal challenge is not to wait successfully but to live richly, fully and joyfully. The goal is not to wait for the right person, but to be the right person".

Another great point he made was that "the real fun of life is in overcoming obstacles while still happily hoping everything will work out... I freely admit that living with my dreams unfulfilled has proven to be a softening, and humbling influence because it's been so hard. But the anchor is at hand, and because it is, I can progress."

Lastly he says "Regroup, if that's what is needed. Do not wait. Rather fill your life with service, education, personality development, love for all, and other such meaningful traits. Live with purpose each day."

What beautiful advice for everyone, no matter what point in your life you are in! It's never to late to take full advantage of this life God has given you. Don't feel regret or guilt for things in the past. Move forward with faith that God is there and he loves you! Happy Monday :)

4.20.2010

To be or not to be?

I'm an actress. 

For years i've tried to fight being stereotyped into one catagory. 

I'm not only an actress... I do other things, I believe other things!?

Why did this bother me so much? Why did it crawl under my skin to be classified as an actor?
I'll tell you why: because it made me feel ridiculous. 

You know how children always allow themselves to dream big? When asking a child what they want to be they'll always answer honestly. The thing is, all these years i've continued to answer honestly but with nothing to show for it yet.

Because I started feeling ashamed of 'playing make believe' still, I stopped trying. I stopped wanting to be someone. I felt the need to blend into the crowd of the US population, because it was easier. 

I've come to the conclusion that i'm going to start shooting for the stars again. I'm going to regain that childlike thought process and become what i've always wanted to be: an actress.

Hamlet said it best "To be or not to be" and I am choosing to be :)

4.18.2010

I can't believe it's already April!

Time has flown by so far this year! Here are some random pictures of fun events so far this year in 2010! What a wonderful year it has been so far! Cheers to making the rest of it just as great :)




I LOVE SNOW!!




The first snow of 2010- at my old apartment in Washington Heights, NYC!


This is our 'we are losing and it's painful' face!




Our boys huddling up before the big game- they lost but they played pretty well for a newbie team!


Katie and I in Madison Square Garden watching the UNC game!



The whole gang (minus Katie) eating our picnic dinner!




Me officially renting my first car on my 25th Birthday and one of the besties (Josh Lattimore) who made it all possible!



4.10.2010

The Buried Life




Light flows our war of mocking words, and yet,
Behold, with tears mine eyes are wet!
I feel a nameless sadness o'er me roll.
Yes, yes, we know that we can jest,
We know, we know that we can smile!
But there's a something in this breast,
To which thy light words bring no rest,
And thy gay smiles no anodyne.
Give me thy hand, and hush awhile,
And turn those limpid eyes on mine,
And let me read there, love! thy inmost soul.

Alas! is even love too weak
To unlock the heart, and let it speak?
Are even lovers powerless to reveal
To one another what indeed they feel?
I knew the mass of men
conceal'd
Their thoughts, for fear that if
reveal'd
They would by other men be met
With blank indifference, or with blame reproved;
I knew they lived and moved
Trick'd in disguises, alien to the rest
Of men, and alien to themselves--and yet
The same heart beats in every human breast!

But we, my love!--doth a like spell benumb
Our hearts, our voices?--must we too be dumb?

Ah! well for us, if even we,
Even for a moment, can get free
Our heart, and have our lips
unchain'd;
For that which seals them hath been deep-
ordain'd!

Fate, which foresaw
How frivolous a baby man would be--
By what distractions he would be
possess'd,
How he would pour himself in every strife,
And well-nigh change his own identity--
That it might keep from his capricious play
His genuine self, and force him to obey
Even in his own despite his being's law,
Bade through the deep recesses of our breast
The unregarded river of our life
Pursue with indiscernible flow its way;
And that we should not see
The buried stream, and seem to be
Eddying at large in blind uncertainty,
Though driving on with it eternally.


But often, in the world's most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;

A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us--to know
Whence our lives come and where they go.
And many a man in his own breast then delves,
But deep enough, alas! none ever mines.
And we have been on many thousand lines,
And we have shown, on each, spirit and power;
But hardly have we, for one little hour,
Been on our own line, have we been ourselves--
Hardly had skill to utter one of all
The nameless feelings that course through our breast,
But they course on for ever
unexpress'd.
And long we try in vain to speak and act
Our hidden self, and what we say and do
Is eloquent, is well--but '
tis not true!
And then we will no more be
rack'd
With inward striving, and demand
Of all the thousand nothings of the hour
Their stupefying power;
Ah yes, and they benumb us at our call!
Yet still, from time to time, vague and forlorn,
From the soul's subterranean depth
upborne
As from an infinitely distant land,
Come airs, and floating echoes, and convey
A melancholy into all our day.
Only--but this is rare--
When a
belov'ed hand is laid in ours,
When, jaded with the rush and glare
Of the interminable hours,
Our eyes can in
another's eyes read clear,
When our world-
deafen'd ear
Is by the tones of a loved voice
caress'd--
A bolt is shot back somewhere in our breast,
And a lost pulse of feeling stirs again.
The eye sinks inward, and the heart lies plain,
And what we mean, we say, and what we would, we know.
A man becomes aware of his life's flow,
And hears its winding murmur; and he sees
The meadows where it glides, the sun, the breeze.

And there arrives a lull in the hot race
Wherein he doth for ever chase
That flying and elusive shadow, rest.
An air of coolness plays upon his face,
And an unwonted calm pervades his breast.
And then he thinks he knows
The hills where his life rose,
And the sea where it goes. 

-Matthew Arnold

This poem is so inspiring to me. Especially the the small sentence that I highlighted. Such beautiful and wise words on how we as human being live our lives!

4.02.2010

Being Single= being awesome

I've been thinking a lot lately about the value of being single. 

DISCLAIMER: Before anyone who is married or in a serious relationship gets angry, I will be the first to admit that the benefits of having a significant other are joyous and sometimes too many to count. Although I look forward to the time when I am joined together with the man I love for eternity; I'm not in this situation, so this blog is going to focus on how being single rules- sorry.

 My whole life i've yearned to be with someone. I've wanted that companionship- in fact craved it sometimes. There were points in my life where I desperately wanted a man to 'complete me' like in the fairy tales. Then I got a little taste of love with the man who broke my heart- and I swore it off.

Now I am happy to report that after a year and a half of soul searching, i've come to find a perfectly happy balance for the first time in my life. 

Life isn't about finding someone to complete you; it's about allowing God to complete you and finding people to magnify your new found love of self.

I am slowly (but surely) learning the importance of building a lasting relationship with God. Trusting him, turning to him during a time of need, loving him, and loving myself. After all, I am a daughter of God and have divinity in every fiber of my being.

When you allow yourself to blossom you suddenly realize that there is a world out there at your fingertips, and no one stopping you but yourself.

I don't have to answer to anyone other than God. Sure, I have to pay my bills and fulfill my calling, work on my career and continuously stay in tune with what The Lord wants me to be doing; but beyond that- i'm free :)

About a year ago I created a bucket list. I've had this list full of amazing things for far too long, and it's time to begin accomplishing them!  First up on the list: Skydiving. I will be going the first week in May!

 I am the ONLY ONE from my age group of church friends in high school who is not married. The only one.  I have been so happy for all my married friends. One by one i've watched them meet their loves and watched them begin their lives together. I used to be envious of them. In fact, tor a long time I let that singleness define me. I let it be an negative instead of a positive. 

Not anymore! 

Life is too exiting for me to wait around for Mr. Right. There is nothing attractive about someone who does nothing with their life. This means no waiting- i'm going to be focusing on learning, growing, experiencing and 'going for the gold!' 

If Mr. Right wants to find me, he'll have to catch me first- and i'll welcome a good chase anytime ;)