Nothing Can Be Done Except Little by Little...

I wore red lipstick yesterday.

When I say red, I mean full blown-Natalie Wood- 1950's red.

It all started when I was putting on my make up yesterday afternoon. Tucked away in the corner of my make up bag was a tube of red lipstick. I smiled a little as I recalled it's entrance into my life. I had purchased it my senior year of college for a Musical I was doing called 'Flora The Red Menace,' and ended up using it for every show after that. I glanced in the mirror and found a split second of courage, that allowed me enough time to apply the vivacious color. As I unpuckered my lips, a new woman began to emerge; a woman I hadn't seen in 3 1/2 years.

To say I had more confidence, got better tips, and had more people look in my direction would seem cliche~ but it's the honest truth. Red lipstick day, was the best day of my week...heck, the best day of my month so far!

Fast forward 24 hours. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, with my depression clouding all that came my way. I didn't shower, I didn't put any make up on, and I wore my glasses instead of my contacts. I was in a bad mood all day, I didn't get great tips and I ate like crap because I felt like crap.

This miniature unplanned experiment got me thinking on the subway ride home from work; and in turn that thinking morphed into a theory.

For the past 7 years that I've dealt with depression, I've found the little tasks harder to complete than any of their larger components. Write a 4 page essay every night for 2 months for your directing class? Sure! Get up every day and shower? Eh... maybe not.

For as long as I can remember, I've allowed my goals to be larger than life. After all, aren't we taught to dream big? And while there's nothing wrong with planning to succeed in the larger things in life, perhaps it's less about the big goals, and more about the tiny steps to achieve them.

Bruce Barton was on to something when he said "Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things."

How could simply applying a fun lipstick color have changed my entire day? It was such a small split second decision, but perhaps that's it. There is no such thing as a 'little thing.'

I recall a discussion I was having with one of my best friend's, Aaron Pratt, a couple of years ago. He had some simple yet seemingly profound advice for me. He told me to make it a goal every morning, to take a shower, get dressed and do my hair and makeup. No matter what I had planned, no matter where I was going, I would wake up and be ready for success.

If I cannot simply take care of myself, and my belongings, how do I expect to achieve all I dream? Lawrence D. Bell's quote is terrifyingly true. "Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things."

I am going to shift my focus immensely over the next few weeks, and begin focusing on the small things. I am going to strive to follow Aaron's advice in every area of my life. Instead of living "outside the box" I am going to try and live exactly as I should. Drink 8 glasses of water, brush my teeth and floss every day, go to bed early and wake up early, pray, shower, and dress to impress daily.

I want to be a woman who can be trusted with the big dreams in life, therefore, I am going to conquer the little ones first.